Sexual Addiction
by FlyFirstThinkLater
Summary: Edward Cullen is a twenty something sex addict, who seeks out help from none other than psychologist Isabella Swan. Rated M for mature themes, language and sexual content. Note: (See the AN at the beginning of chapter 11, a specific aspect shall be explained (For those who are inept when it comes to detecting such things, look for the writing in bold.))
1. Shame

_This is a new idea I had for a fic the other day and so I thought I would try it out and see what people think, I'm no expert on sexual addiction so please forgive me for any mistakes._

* * *

Edward Point Of View

* * *

"I don't even know your name," She purred, her hot breath tickling the nape of my neck.

"Take off your dress," I ordered curtly, watching as she complied. I would have said she was my type, but nowadays the idea of my ideal woman had just blurred into a compilation of every type that was out there. I looked down at the flush blonde lying beneath me, looking up at me almost awestruck, waiting patiently for my next move. Swiftly it came and I removed my own shirt, lowering myself onto her, kissing her neck as she moaned lightly. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, this was too… too romantic, and I was in no mood for romance. Fiercely I tore off her blue lace underwear just needing to do the deed already. I undid the buttons of my jeans and pushed them off along with my boxers, allowing her to remove her bra in the process. I peered at her as I rolled on the condom; she looked as though the anticipation was killing her. In a word, she was excited. She shouldn't have been. She should have been afraid, for she was nothing but an object at this moment, a nameless object that I would use to supress my need. My need for sex. I pushed into her without warning and she cried out in pleasure, her back arched as I callously took what I yearned for, if you would, fucking her senseless. She cursed and moaned beneath me as she came, this obviously being the greatest sexual experience she had ever endured. I could last for hours with a woman yet now I merely wanted release and after two more thrusts it was mine. I pulled out of her instantly, removing the condom needing it to be anywhere but on me.

"That…that was amazing," She breathed. How cliché. I pulled on my clothing not wanting to be here any longer.

"Are you leaving?" She asked as though I would have any reason to stay. I picked my jacket up off of the floor and put it on turning towards the door.

"I don't even know your name!" I could hear the desperation in her voice. I looked at her, pity evidently in my eyes before leaving her bedroom and her apartment. It often ended that way. The cool breeze of the night was soothing on my skin as I walked in the direction of two options. Option one, visit a local bar and drink myself to tomorrow or option two, go home and get some needed sleep. It wasn't a difficult one and I instantly felt at ease once through my front door. I discarded my shirt and made my way into the bathroom, kicking my pornographic magazines into the corner of the room. I peered at myself in the mirror; bags were forming under my eyes, I needed a shave and my skin was a little too pale. I splashed cold water onto my face before having a cleansing shower. It was hard to resist the urge to masturbate as the water caressed my skin and in the end I gave into temptation. I draped a towel onto my hips and sat down on my couch. I placed my head against the cushions and closed my eyes, I knew soon I would be a victim of sleep and needed to get into bed. It was then the phone abruptly rang causing me to stir. I debated whether to pick it up or not, but once seeing the caller ID I decided it would be best if I did.

"Hello," I grumbled

"Edward," My sister Rosalie responded

"What is it Rose?"

"We need to talk,"

"Shoot,"

"How are you?"

"Rosalie cut to the chase,"

"It's about you and your…."

"My what?"

"You know 'high sex drive' "

"I told you about that in confidence,"

"You're letting sex rule your life Edward, it needs to stop,"

"It's not something that I can just turn off Rosalie, look I don't want to talk about this!"

"Stop! We cannot keep having this conversation,"

"I know,"

"How many women have you slept with today?"

"What! I'm not answering that,"

"Go on tell me, what is it, two? three?"

"None, look please stop it,"

"Don't lie to me Edward,"

"I'm not!"

"Tell me!"

"Four" I muttered guilt washing over me

"Now try and tell me that you don't have an addiction,"

"I, I…"

"You can't, can you?"

"…"

"I want to help you Edward,"

"You cannot tell anyone about this, this is my life, it's private,"  
"I would never tell anyone,"  
"Good,"

"But, I have done something,"

"What?"

"I've ordered you weekly appointments with a psychiatrist,"

"You've done what? How could you do that to me?"

"This is going to help you Edward, and then maybe you can try and get your career back on track, you're twenty four for God's sake,"

"When is the first appointment?"

"Tomorrow, I'll text you the details in the morning; I need to go now,"

"Okay,"

"Oh and Edward,"

"Yes?"

"Don't screw this up,"

The animosity of it, Rosalie may have been my sister but she had no right to meddle in matters that she did not understand, especially one such as this. It was as if she was trying to label me. But the worst part was that she was right. I did need help, yet that didn't necessarily mean that I wanted it. Sex was the only thing I had to look forward to in my life, it was something I could have every day, and that was a positive, but something that I needed every day and that alone was a good negative argument.


	2. Just call me Doctor

_Thank you to all who enjoyed my first chapter and for all my hits, please feel free to review, it fuels my writing. Here is chapter 2_

* * *

Edward Point Of View

* * *

"Alright Rose, yes I'm leaving now, okay, okay, I'll call you afterwards to let you know how it goes, bye," I hung up whilst pulling on my jacket and shoving my car keys into my pocket. I smoothed a hand over my stubble free cheek and headed out the door. I felt on edge today, it was both due to the fact that I had to meet a psychiatrist and that I hadn't had sex yet, it was almost two in the afternoon, and if it had been a normal day, I would have been on seconds already. My appointment was for three o'clock, and the drive suffered some intensive traffic, but I made it on time and as I waited in the lounge I could feel my nerves deepen. I didn't really know what to expect, or how to go about it. I played the image out in my head, imagining myself lying on some sort of chaise lounge as I spilled out my trouble to an old male medic.

"Mr Cullen?" My name being called woke me from over active imagination. I looked up to see a small, round secretary peering down at me. "Dr Swan will see you now," she informed.

"Right," I muttered, as she gestured towards a door I assumed I was to enter. I knocked on it lightly before turning the door know and making my way in. The room was bright and as the sun shone through I squinted my eyes.

"Sorry about that, I'll just shut those curtains," I heard a voice say, a silky sounding female voice. I knew it was rather stereotypical but a female psychiatrist for this situation was not what I had been expecting. As soon as the drapes were shut I could make out the smooth curvaceous silhouette of Dr Swan. I raked my eyes over her body before I could stop myself, it was like a reflex. She was tall to an extent with slim legs and delicate arms, yet curves that screamed womanly. I could barely look away, as my eyes travelled higher, taking in the shape of her round chest and swan like neck. Her face was heart shaped and her complexion a creamy ivory, completed with full, pouty pink lips. My eyes lingered on them for a mere second before drifting over her slim defined nose. Her eyes were doe like large pools of chocolate brown, framed by long black lashes. It was then I noticed one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows raise. She tucked a strand of her shimmering brown locks behind an ear.

"You must be Mr Cullen," I could hear her say, causing me to stop my detailed analysis of her. Dr Swan was easily one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, and if the situation had been any other than the one it was now I would have been on a mission to bed her.

"Yes, Edward Cullen," I coughed out suddenly feeling ashamed for my earlier eye attack of her body.

"Please sit," She smiled gesturing towards the cream couch. I did as she told me and watched as she took her seat on a large arm chair in front of me. Her pencil skirt rose up as she did so revealing more of her creamy flesh. I could feel myself growing agitated below. Surely she understood why I was here?

"Right so do you want to get started then Mr Cullen?" Dr Swan asked smiling at me in the friendliest manner; she looked young in years, definitely younger than myself.

"Of course," I replied smiling at her.

"Well let me formally introduce myself, I am Dr Isabella Swan, please feel free to call me Isabella if you wish,"

I nodded at her as if to show my understanding.

"Are you okay Mr Cullen you seem a little on edge?"

"I've just never done anything like this before,"

"I see, please try to feel at ease, I don't bite,"

Once the words had escaped her lips I could imagine myself biting the tender piece of skin joining her shoulder and neck.

"Please don't think it rude of me, but do you mind me asking how old you are?"

"Not at all, I'm twenty-two; I graduated a little earlier than everyone else from college,"

"I see, I was just curious,"

"That's perfectly natural, right so let me see Edward, do you mind if I call you Edward?" She asked looking up at me whilst riffling through some papers.

"No," I smiled, in fact I loved it when she called me Edward, hearing my name part from her lips was almost a gift from God, and instantly my ears rang with the sound of her moaning it repeatedly.

"So I do recall that it was your sister who scheduled these appointments for you, and not yourself, do you want to be here Edward?"

"If it will make my sister happy then of course,"

"And what about you? Will this make you happy?"

"I don't know,"

"Well let's think about your situation, you're addicted to sex?"

It had never been so bluntly put out on a plate like that.

"I engage in sexual intercourse frequently,"

"Define frequently,"

"Every week,"

"Define every week,"

"Every day,"

"Define every day,"

"It differs,"

"How so?"

"Sometimes I will have sex numerous times in a day, sometimes just once or twice,"

"I see, and when engaging in sexual intercourse is it ever with the same woman?"

"No,"

"And why is that?"  
"I don't like the idea of an emotional attachment, when I have sex it is just to…."

"Fulfil your own needs?"

"You could put it that way," I muttered placing my head in my hands

"Edward, I'm here to help not to judge," Isabella soothed placing her hand on my knee, I stared at it for a moment, and once she removed it I looked up at her. I watched as she crossed one leg over the other and placed her hand on her thigh. I knew she was not doing it purposely but I couldn't help but feel a little anger towards her. Out of all the psychiatrists in the world I had to end up with her? She was going to make this a million times more difficult than I had already established it was going to be. It was as if she was the temptation there right in front of me, testing how far I was truly willing to go to try and 'cure' myself.

"Why don't you tell me about how it all started?" Isabella advised.

I cleared my throat "I guess, it's been like this for almost four years,"

"Four? And why did you only start to move towards the idea of help now?"

"Well I only told my sister about what had been happening to me about a month ago, if it wasn't for her I don't think I would have come for help, I don't want to let her down. My parents are already on the verge of disowning me since I'm jobless; Rose is all I truly have left,"

"Jobless?"

"Yeah, I'm interested in the arts, you know music, writing, my parents have, had big hopes for me, but my mind was elsewhere,"

"So you didn't have time to look for a job because you were busy…."

"Continuously having sex with random women? Yeah,"

"So explain a daily routine to me,"

"I wake up, and I just head out,"

"Head out? For the whole day?"

"Sometimes it pans out like that,"

"So how do you find these women? The ones who you end up having intercourse with?"

"I guess it kind of just happens, I see an attractive woman in the supermarket and within minutes I'm taking her up against the bathroom wall, or I go to the park and meet a girl there, I'm pretty much at bars every single night, just looking for someone to fuck," I was angry now, but not with her, with myself, I was so full of shame I felt like bursting into tears then and there.

"I understand that this is hard for you Edward but you need to relax,"

"I just feel like it's never enough,"

"The sex?"

"Yes, I'll have sex with multiple women during the day but still need to masturbate soon after, I'm just always looking for release and in that one moment when I have it, I'm in pure bliss. It's the afterwards that I hate, the shame, the guilt, the using of girls I do not care for."

"When did you realise that you were becoming addicted?"

"When the only persons needs I cared for were my own. When I first started having frequent sex, I'd make sure that both our needs were being catered for, it wasn't love making but it had more to it than just fucking, now I don't even care as soon as I have my release I'm gone, whether it be home, or looking for someone else to screw over,"

"There's one thing I know for sure I do not need to break to you Mr Cullen, and that is the fact that you are addicted to sex, you've admitted it right before me, everything you say and feel, it's due to your addiction, I want you to know that you are not a monster, you did not choose this, you need it,"

"No disrespect but I think that, that makes it worse, if I was able to choose to turn it off then I would, but that fact that I need sex is frightening, it scares the hell out of me,"

"And that is why you are here, because deep down you know that this is not for your sister's sake but for the sake of your own mind, I am going to do everything to help you Edward, you have my word, but for this to work you are going to have to do things for me too."

"What do you mean?"

"You are going to have to try and reduce the amount of women you sleep with daily,"

"What if I can't?"

"Imagine that in this situation that, that word does not exist, you can do this, you just need to find the will power to do so,"

"Will power?"

"Yes, we all have it, you just need to find your own, just try slowly having sexual intercourse with say one woman per day and see how that affects you mentally,"

"Do you think it will work?"

"We can only try,"

"Yesterday I had sex with four women and today I need to cut that down to one,"

"Yes,"

"So I can just go out there now and find one woman to have sex with,"

"Yes,"

"But doesn't that go against everything we have just discussed?"

"Regardless you still need to have your desired release, stopping you from having any sexual intercourse would destroy you; you'd be a ticking time bomb,"

"I see,"

"Well it seems your time is up Edward, I'll be seeing you next week, have a nice night now," Isabella smiled walking by my side to the door.

"Thank you, Doctor Swan," I spoke before leaving her office. As I stood in the elevator I couldn't help but be confused by our session, I was to go and have sex with a woman despite my addiction, and I would do so indeed.


	3. Easy Target

_Hey guys, sorry for not updating for a while but I've been knee deep in exams and revision has been the main thing on my agenda. But somehow I've managed to write up this chapter for you and it comes with a lemon, please remember this story is about Edward's journey to discovering himself. If you read I would appreciate a review! It can be anonymous :)! Enjoy this next chap. XX_

* * *

Edward's point of view

* * *

"So…."

"So…. what?"

"Oh come on Edward you know what," Rosalie's voice scolded at the end of the other line

"I think you'll need to refresh my memory sister dearest," I drawled

"How did the appointment go?"

"Now you see that is one thing I cannot tell you,"

"And why is that?"

"A little something called doctor, patient confidentiality,"

"For fuck's sake tell me how it went or I'll go down there and ask the bloody doctor myself,"

"It was…"

"It was what?"

"Interesting,"

"Interesting?"

"To say the least,"

"Well what about the doctor, is he nice?"

"She, seems alright,"

"She?"

"Yes she, Dr Isabella Swan,"

"This isn't going to be a problem is it?"

"I don't see why it should be,"

"Well you're a very attractive twenty-four year old who happens to be a pro at charming women,"

"Thus we have a problem?"

"How old is she?"

"Old enough,"

"Tell me Edward,"

"She's twenty-two,"

"What!"

"You heard me,"

"But that's so young,"

"You weren't the only person who was surprised,"

"So your telling me that your new psychiatrist is a twenty-two year old female,"

"Indeed,"

"I'm starting to see a problem,"

"Oh come on Rosalie this was your idea,"

"I know but maybe a different doctor would be a wiser choice,"

"I'm not an animal I can control myself,"

"I know but,"

"Would you please stop fretting, I'm not going to try and bed her,"

"Is she unattractive?"

"Ermmm,"

"Tell me,"

"No comment,"

"I'm looking her up,"

"What! Rosalie stop being irrational," I scolded her, yet my protests went unheard as I listened to the tapping of her keyboard.

"Fuck, we definitely have a problem," She informed me

"No we do not,"

"Edward please if she wasn't you psychiatrist she's be another notch on your bedpost,"

"Gee thanks for having so much faith,"

"Are you telling me that you are not extremely attracted to her?"

"I'm not telling you anything; I've already said I'd rather not comment,"

"I'm just not sure if you can handle being alone with her without any intercourse,"

"I managed to do so today,"

"I guess,"

"Look Rosalie her look's and age are not important, all I care about is her successfully helping me and so far she seems like she's willing to give it her best shot,"

"How so?"

"She has already given me some instructions to follow,"

"What kind of instructions?"

"Now those I will definitely not go into detail about,"

"Please…"

"NO! Look I'm already uncomfortable discussing my sex life with you as it is so please just leave it be and let me do this in my own way,"

"Fine but I want an update after the next meeting,"

"Yes mom,"

"You know I'm only so interested because I care,"

"I know, I know,"

"I'll speak to you soon; you go and do whatever it is you have to do,"

"Alright,"

"I love you Edward,"

"I love you too Rose," I threw my phone into the passenger seat beside me and groaned inwardly, why did my life have to be such a cock up. Not only did I have to now see a psychiatrist but she was probably going to be the death of me. If there was a God then he was indeed punishing me, punishing me for my sexual ways. I felt on edge and it would take just one little push for me to fall right off of it. The reason was obvious I hadn't had 'my desired release' as Dr Swan put it. I was supposedly only allowed to have sex with one person today, yet the darker side of me was digging deeper into the meaning of that statement. One person tonight could be doable, find one woman and have sex with her. And then have sex with her again and again, all in the same night, thus meaning I had, had sex with only one woman whilst having the actual intercourse numerous times. It was like finding a loop hole in a contract, an amazing one at that. It was wrong, that much was obvious yet it was still abiding by the rules set and not overstepping the mark completely. Perhaps more trial and error. It had always been my father's dream for me to become a lawyer; I had the talent yet preferred the more artistic side of life, my family had accepted it, my father the most reluctant, yet accepted it all the same. Their disappointment was to grow though when I failed to fulfil even my dreams and sank into the ways of my life now. My parents were unaware of what I was actually doing; merely believing I was an unbothered slob reluctant to find a job. The truly sad part was that I actually preferred it that way, the thought of my mother discovering what I had actually been doing for the past couple of years terrified me, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would never look me in the eyes again, if my daily antics came to light. Dr Swan seemed to be my only hope now at making sure that that dreaded scenario never became reality. I had to put all my faith in her advice and my own will power now, that was if any still existed. God! How I wanted to get up close and personal with Dr Swan, the thought of it was visibly driving me insane. I needed to find me a fuck now. I drove out of the parking lot and headed straight home, running upstairs and changing into something a little more dashing, yes dashing. I could feel myself grow with excitement as I walked down the street towards one of my regulars, a club called 'Assets,' The name was not one of pure genius but the club itself was the perfect place for a needed pick up. Clubs weren't really my scene but this one played the greatest music I had ever heard, and therefore was bearable, also the women here were of high physical quality. There were obvious tactics to hook-ups, normally the easiest targets were women who were drowning their sorrows in cocktails and were feeling vulnerable. They were what I like to call pity fucks, women who I felt were easy access, harsh yet true. Tonight seemed the perfect night for one of those, a woman who needed guidance during the night and was willing to give me anything. As my eyes scanned the bar, as expected there was one blonde leaning her head on her hand sipping what appeared to be a Bloody-Mary. She was young and attractive with pale green eyes, and a light complexion. I ordered a glass of lemonade, I wanted to be sober for this, and sat down on a stool close to hers. She looked up as I did and stared at me for a moment, almost shocked that I had sat down in a close proximity to her. I gave her a small smile as if to let her know I had acknowledged her and then looked away and took a sip of my lemonade. I never chose to appear too keen, even though my manhood was.

"You're drinking lemonade," She stated dragging herself to sit on the stool right beside mine

"I've noticed," I smirked

"What I want to know is why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah, hmmm let me guess you're a recovering alcoholic?"

"No but it was a good shot,"

"That's exactly what we need shots! Barman two shots of tequila please!"

The barman complied and brought over the tequila shots.

"No thanks," I told her pushing the shot away

"Why not?"

"I need a clear head,"

"Are you driving?"

"No,"

"Well unless you're pregnant I don't see why you can't drink it,"

"I'm just not in the mood for drinking tonight,"

"Well then you shouldn't have to come a bar,"

"Bars have other advantages you know,"

"Do tell I'm intrigued,"

"Well if you use those pretty little ears of yours, I'm sure you'll hear some rather enjoyable music,"

"It's okay," She breathed

"It is indeed, So tell me what drives a woman of your beauty to drinking alone in a club like this?"

"I'm not drinking alone though am I?"

"You were before,"

"I'd rather not discuss it,"

"Talking about it always helps," I chuckled

"I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my roommate,"

"Well he must be an idiot to let a woman like you slip out of his reach,

"You think so?"

"I know so," I smiled. She rose up off of her stool and pressed her lips to mine, if only she knew how many other women I had, had that conversation with in this exact spot.

"What did you say your name was?" She breathed against my lips

"I didn't,"

"I'm Lola,"

"It's nice to meet you Lola, I'm Ric," I lied as she kissed me once again. I didn't do names.

"Let's get out of here," Lola whispered dragging me to the door

"Your place?" I asked her as we exited

"My place is pretty far from here," she sighed. I was about to something I rarely did and allow her to come to mine; it was only due to the fact that I desperately needed to fuck her though.

"My place it is," I smiled hailing a cab.

As soon as the door was open I had her up against the wall, attacking her neck with my lips, an action that didn't go unappreciated, I sucked violently on the skin there and bit into her lightly causing blood to rise under the skin. I was aching down below and could barely wait any longer, I pushed her dress up her thighs and hitched her legs around my waist, pressing her closer to the wall, I could feel her arousal against thigh and grabbed a condom from my back pocket tearing it open and shoving down my pants and boxers. I rolled the condom onto my manhood and tore off her panties, the remaining barrier from between us. I didn't give her any time to register what I was doing and thrust myself into her with an incredible force. It felt so good to have her core around me; it was what I had been craving all day. I fucked her at a speedy pace; her moans letting me know she was in pure ecstasy. I bet her boyfriend could never fuck her like this. I thrust further into her each time, her back colliding with the wall repeatedly. She was loving it to say the least, cursing against me. This was what I did, this was who I was. With a final thrust her walls clamped down around me and she came. They always came before I did. I thrust into her two more times and then claimed my reward 'my release'.

"Fuck Ric that was… intense," She shuddered as I pulled out of her and lowered her onto her feet. I laughed inwardly to myself at remembering I had told her my name was Ric. I rolled the condom off and threw it into a nearby bin. Lola stood there awkwardly for a minute pulling down her dress; I pulled up my pants and sat down on the couch.

"Should I…" She gestured towards the door

"Whatever," I mumbled rubbing my temples

"We'll here's my number," She informed shyly as if we hadn't fucked less than a minute ago, scribbling it down on the corner of an old newspaper. "Call me," She muttered a look of hurt in her eyes.

"That's unlikely," I whispered under my breath as she walked out the door. Once she was gone I stood up and walked over to the newspaper she had written her number on, I picked it up and looked at it. What made her think she was special enough for me to call her? My darker side couldn't help but wonder as I threw the newspaper in the bin on top of the used condom. One thing was for certain I was going to hell.

* * *

_What! How mean is Edward right? Anyway guys please review, it will be much appreciated. XX_


	4. Control

_Here is the next installment of Sexual Addiciton, please review as they are much appreciated. _

* * *

Edwaard's Point Of View

* * *

"It's a pleasure to see you again Mr Cullen," Dr Swan greeted as I took a seat opposite her. The pleasure was all mine, literally. She was dressed in denim jeans and a light blue shirt; the colour caressing her porcelain skin, her hair was pulled up in a messy bun.

"You're looking very well," She complimented smiling up at me. I smiled inwardly to myself; my ego explaining to that this was her way of telling me she found me attractive.

"Thank you, the same can be said for yourself, Dr Swan," I replied. There was something about the way she was smiling at me and the pink blush that crept its way up her cheeks. It was odd, captivating. She was undoubtedly rather beautiful, yet as I analysed her I knew she was unaware of this fact.

"How are you feeling about the matter of progress, have you been able to follow my instructions?" She queried tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It was a difficult task you set," I murmured looking up at her, greeted with the site of her tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. It was an involuntary action, but immensely erotic all the same.

She freed the rose coloured lip and sighed "It's been seven days since our last meet; one female companion per day should mean that you've been with seven women, now let's see is that the case?"

The words 'female companion' caused me to supress a smirk scheming to form on my lips. I mumbled something incoherent.

"Okay Mr Cullen, how about we play a little game,"

Game? My thoughts turned sexual instantly, darker Edward threatening to surface and retort with an inappropriate comment that would surely cause Dr Swan to turn crimson.

"What kind of game?" I questioned looking her directly into her eyes, a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips.

"I'm going to guess a number, and you merely have to state whether the actual amount is higher or lower, sounds easy does it not?" Like most of the women I use to supress my need, darker Edward laughed rearing his head.

"Alright guess away,"

"Well due to your earlier reaction I know you've exceeded your daily allowance,"

"Daily allowance?" Her choice of words amusing.

"Let me see hmmm," Dr Swan eyed me carefully "I'd say 21, three women per day,"

"21? So little faith?" I chuckled feigning upset. "Lower,"

"14? Two women per day,"

"12," I announced looking down at my interlocked fingers.

"I must say I'm disappointed Edward, that's five more than instructed"

"I personally think it's quite an achievement,"

"So you do feel that you are making progress,"

"Not quite,"

"Please feel free to elaborate,"

"I don't feel any different, I'm still Edward Cullen, womaniser,"

"This sort thing takes time, your needs won't supress immediately, you have to patience,"

"The one quality I don't possess,"

"I'm sure you do,"

"Trust me I don't, that's just how it is with me. When I want something I don't like having to wait for it,"

"I suppose that explains something's,"

That mood had descended into waves of intensity.

"Well it keeps me punctual," I smiled wading through the thick feel of the air.

Dr Swan smiled lightly but I knew she didn't want to deter form the topic at hand here.

"Do you do that often?"

"What?"

"Push your feelings aside?"

"I'm not pushing them aside; I just don't like incredibly tense situations,"

"But surely every sexual experience you encounter is intense?"

"On a level, but it's an erotic intense,"

"And this is an uncomfortable intense?"

"I suppose,"

"Would you rather see a different Doctor?"

"It's not you that makes the situation intense; it's the topic, the thought of sharing all this personal information with someone I barely know,"

"Well then let's go to know each other better,"

Darker Edward couldn't help but want to take up that offer, though in his mind it was sexual, like most things.

"What do you mean?"

"Ask me anything,"

"Anything?" Well didn't that sound tempting?

"Uh-hu,"

"Why did you choose this job?"

"Maybe not that question,"

"You said anything,"

Dr Swan sighed hesitantly "I've had a series of addicts in and out of my life, it's not easy to walk away from something like that unscarred, it made me want to help other addicts before their addiction wins,"

I nodded in appreciation to her honesty, wondering which people in her life had suffered from addiction; it seemed to be a sensitive topic.

"So you only treat people with sexual addictions,"

"No actually, out if all the patients that visit you're the only one who relates to that topic, in fact you're the youngest too,"

"Is it weird, talking to a sex addict?"

"Well at first I was a little reluctant, but you're not at all what I imagined you would be,"

"And what did you imagine?" Now this was an intriguing topic

"I'm not quite sure, but it's wasn't you, I was pleasantly surprised"

"Well I wasn't quite expecting a female psychiatrist, one of such youth especially,"

"I can imagine. People don't think I'm old enough to know how it all works. They couldn't be more wrong, I've had a heightened understanding of the human mind for a long time,"

"Do you get satisfaction out of it?"

"If I succeed,"

"Do you think you'll be able to succeed with me?"

"You're making it difficult; I wish you were as good as following instructions as you are punctual."

"I can try, for your satisfaction," The innuendo ran deep and darker Edward took control of our mouth for a split second, the comment causing Dr Swan to flush furiously.

"You interest me Mr Cullen," the simple statement has so much depth.

"You interest me"

"What is it that you find so addictive? The pleasure, being able to pick someone to succumb to your needs?"

"All of the above. Think about it, sex is stimulating and arousing, it can be slow, fast, rough, and intimate. It is there to pleasure those who partake in it. Don't you agree, surely you find sex pleasurable when you partake in it?" Dark Edward has settled now and I was fully embracing him.

Dr Swan's face contorted in absolute shock, her cheeks aflame, it was very attractive.

"I-um, uh," Dr Swan murmured.

"You said I could ask you anything," I smirked

"I know, you um just caught me off guard," She spoke; I could tell she was feeling nervous, I was enjoying it indeed. I waited patiently for her answer.

"Of course I find sexual intercourse pleasurable, pleasure being the main purpose, that and children,"

"But you care about whether your partner's needs are being fulfilled,"

"I do not aim to disappoint Mr Cullen,"

"You see that's where it's different for me, I don't care whether my partner is receiving satisfaction, I only cater for my needs,"

"I'm sure you don't disappoint," She mumbled under her breath, it was barely a whisper and I knew I wasn't supposed to have heard it.

"You know the few times I have had sex, there's never really been any true meaning, it's all a bit uninteresting,"

"Few times? Uninteresting?"

"I don't really have time for such activities,"

"Maybe you don't make time because you've never had it interesting,"

"And you do?"

"It's a necessity for me, but yes it does sometimes lose interest, it gets repetitive"

"I see," She sighed

"But do you? I mean sex has never been interesting for you,"

"Perhaps we should talk about something else,"

"And yet you seem to expect me to reveal so much intimate information about myself, I think it's only fair that we level ourselves if this is going to work. What you know about me, I need to know about you,"

"I'm not here to negotiate with you Mr Cullen,"

"I don't want a negotiation,"

"More rather just the intimate details of my life,"

"Well I deem it unfair for you to know how many people I've slept with in the past week and yet I know of nothing of you digits,"

"There are no digits,"

"You're uncomfortable," I stated

"You seem to be playing the role of doctor," Dr Swan retorted

"I like to be in control,"

"Talking fetishes are we?"

I chuckle; she has no idea what I was capable of.

"I take it you shall be leaving an instruction for me to follow,"

"Yes, no sexual intercourse of any kind until our next meeting,"

I choked on the water I had been sipping wide eyed. This must be some sort of punishment.

"You say you like to be in control of a situation, well control this, control yourself,"

"I-I,"

"Times up Mr Cullen, I look forward to seeing you next week,"

I couldn't believe her, it was fair play but it had me reeling.

"Next week," I stated eying her cautiously leaving the room.

* * *

Isabella's Point Of View

* * *

The door clicked shut and I inhaled sharply, Edward Cullen had to be one of my most dangerous patients. He was undeniably attractive.

He appeared to be carved out of marble, his jaw line strong, his emerald eyes shining, bronzed hair tousled in a way I appreciated a

little too much. He was toned and tall in build and his presence caused me unease. His talk of sex was experienced yet he was young in

age. He had questioned me so ruthlessly today and I could do nothing but answer as to not appear weak to this man who always

wanted to be in control. I knew he wouldn't follow my rules and not engage in any sexual activities for the week but it felt good to know

I had had that last snippet of control in our session; he was going to have to learn his place. I was the doctor and he was the patient.

* * *

_I just had to do a snippet of Bella's thoughts there at the end, not sure if i should do more in her pov, let me know if you leave a review. _


	5. Cantankerous

_I know my updates are delayed, I apologise profusely. Like any other I would like a review. _

* * *

Edward's Point Of View

* * *

I threw myself down onto my couch and peered at the radio clock placed on the side table. I Edward Cullen had done it. It had been a whole twenty-four

hours since leaving Dr Swan's office and I had not had sex. I could feel bewilderment, restlessness and unease coursing through me. I encouraged myself not

to be too proud as I had relieved myself manually at least three times during the time period, guiltily thinking of Dr Swan in various states of undress as I did

so. It was the least she could do, my current situation being the cause of her need to put me in my place. I had known the woman for two weeks, seen her

twice and yet I couldn't help but visualise her biting her bottom lip every time I touched myself. The thought of it was enough to stir my manhood. Surely it

would've been better for my health and sanity to just relieve myself with some air head who was of no better use.

"Fuck!" A voice cried outside my front door. It pulled me from my sprawled state on the couch and I rose to open it.

"Fuck," The voice muttered again as I reached for the handle, it sounded feminine and strangely familiar. Well fuck me, pun intended, there was Dr Swan bent

over trying to gather up a large number of densely looking books.

"Dr Swan?" I questioned taking a step out into the hall, my eyes slipping to her behind. Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice and I felt the corners

of my mouth turn up at the look of surprise in her eyes as she took my presence in.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" She asked tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I live here," I replied as if it wasn't obvious.

"No," Dr Swan muttered her eyes widening in realisation.

"I'm pretty sure I do," I chuckled.

She exhaled a breath and swiftly composed herself.

"I'm your new neighbour," Dr Swan mumbled.

Neighbour? How had I not noticed her moving in? I hadn't even known the apartment had been vacated.

"New as in I only moved in the other day," She informed me as if answering my inner questions.

"Oh," I mumbled. We stood there for a moment motionless.

"Well here let me help you with those," I smiled breaking the silence, leaning over to help her with the retrieving of her books, I took a chance and peaked

down her shirt whilst doing so, finding myself rewarded with the sweet view of her plush breasts pushed against the fabric of her top. Three masturbating

sessions was soon going to need to become four.

"Thank you for this Edward," she smiled returning to standing position, the innocence in her voice creating a feeling of guilt to form over my sex addict perving.

"It's no problem Dr Swan," I smiled following her into her now open apartment and placing the books on a coffee table placed in the middle of her kitchen.

"Edward, surely calling me Isabella will do you no harm?" Her smile was warm and inviting and it dawned on me that being in a close proximity with her in a

location other than her office would be dangerous for both myself and _Isabella. _A little over twenty-four hours ago she was informing that I was not allowed to

engage in sexual contact and now she was being the sweet girl-next door, though to be labelled in such a way, was not quite fitting for Isabella.

"Of course not," I reciprocated with a smile of my own.

"Why don't you take a seat, I'll make some coffee?" Isabella offered.

"That would be great," I smiled up at her,

"How do you like your coffee?" She asked turning to put the kettle on.

"Black," I informed her, similar to my soul.

"Perfect," Isabella muttered.

I waited silently as she made the coffee, watching her carefully.

"Here you go," She smiled, placing mine down in front of me and taking a seat opposite. I felt like this was another session in her office.

"Thanks," I muttered, sipping the hot coffee.

"So Edward, how are you feeling?" Yes, this was definitely going in the direction of another session.

"Interesting," I stated, it was the only way to describe my constant arousal without being crude.

"How so?" She pried

"I'd rather not say."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me," How cliché.

"We're not in your office Isabella; you're not being paid for this hour,"

"I'd still like to know,"

"I said I'd rather not say,"

"And I'd rather you did,"

"It will make you feel uncomfortable,"

"Uncomfortable?" She asked.

"Yes,"

"So be it,"

I sighed deeply, so be it indeed "I haven't been able to relieve myself properly with someone since our last meet,"

"So you've not engaged in sexual contact?"

"No,"

"That's a good thing,"

"For whose sanity?"

She ignored my question "It's what you're aiming for,"

"I don't like this feeling,"

"What feeling?"

"The aching,"

"Aching?"

"Yes aching, must I repeat myself?" I snapped, aggravated that she wouldn't just leave the subject be.

"The repetition of the word, was an indication to elaborate Edward,"

"Well Isabella if you must know the aching is an actual ache,"

"I gathered as much,"

"An aching down below,"

"Oh," Realisation dawned on her.

"It's never been quite so present before,"

"Because someone's always been there to relieve it," Isabella nodded in sudden understanding.

"Exactly,"

"So what you're trying to tell me is that you're constantly aroused,"

"Correct," I sighed, the conversation almost seeming comical now.

"Even at this moment?"

"Very much so,"

There it was the look of discomfort on her face.

I wanted to smirk, but stopped myself, it was sick that I found this funny. Isabella's look of discomfort turned into one of interest, she bit her lip.

"You don't need to engage in sexual contact with another person to relieve yourself Edward"

I chuckled at her statement "I'm well aware, but it's not enough,"

"So I'm guessing you're well acquainted with the method at hand here?"

Another smirk threatened to the surface as I recognised her unintended pun.

"Yes,"

"And you say it's not enough?"

"Not in this circumstance,"

"The circumstance being that you need physical contact with another to relieve the earlier mentioned ache?"

"Yes," I sighed

"It's all part of the process,"

"What process?"

"The process to recovery,"

"To normality,"

"You are normal Edward,"

"What normal person cannot live without sex?"

"Every male that walks the earth,"

I chuckled

"Now asides from physically, how are you feeling mentally?"

"This is going to sound stupid, but there is a hint of pride there,"

"Now why is that stupid?"

"The pride being there due to the fact that I've not fucked anyone in the past 24 hours,"

"Language Edward,"

"I recall you were rather familiar with the f-word in the hallway,"

"That was different,"

"How so?"

"It was not being used to describe an activity with another being,"

"But that's what it is,"

"When's the last time you made love?"

"What!?" Her question catching me without guard.

"Love making, you are familiar with the term?"

"Of course I am,"

"When was the last time you made love to someone Edward?"

"I-I don't know,"

"Have you ever made love Edward?"

"What difference does it make?" I snapped.

Had I ever made love?

"One day you'll understand," What was that fuck was that supposed to mean? I had a better understanding of sexual relationships than she did, that was

certain. If anything it was her who didn't understand, I recalled our earlier session, remembering what was said about her engaging in sexual intercourse only

few times.

"That seems a little rich coming from you Dr Swan," Her brows furrowed together as she frowned.

"You're right," She mumbled, I stayed silent sensing she wasn't finished. "I was a little dishonest with you Edward,"

"Go on," I coaxed wary, She looks me in the eyes, fear evidently settled in the brown pools.

"I'm a virgin," Her voice nothing more than a whisper. A _virgin_? I had been taking advice on my sexual needs from a _VIRGIN_?

"I don't understand," I muttered in disbelief, she had lied to me in her office, but why? I looked her squarely in the eye, causing her to cower behind her coffee mug.

"You lied to me," I stated the tone of my voice anything but inviting.

"Yes," She sighed evidently ashamed "But unintentionally Edward, you caught me so off guard with your questions about my sexual life, I was too

embarrassed to just let the truth slip,"

"Don't blame me for this," I warned her, my voice menacingly low. The audacity of it.

"I'm not Edward, merely trying to make you understand,"

"What is there to understand?" I laughed humorously "I've been indulging you with all my sexual problems and you're so to speak, sexually inept,"

"Why are you so angry?" She looked hurt.

"I'm not angry," I lied through gritted teeth.

"You are,"

"Isabella you don't understand the amount of trust I have put in you,"

She's surprised by my admission.

"The only other person I've told about this," I gestured between the two of us "Is my sister Rose, and not nearly in such detail, it's difficult for me to do this, I

need your complete honesty,"

"I'm sorry," She apologised again, and I really wished she would stop.

"It's a bit of a shock that's all, I would not have made a mockery of you if you had been honest, please never lie to me again Isabella, If anything it is I who

should be ashamed or embarrassed,"

She sighed "You seem cantankerous with your soul Mr Cullen," `

"That's because it's so fucked up," I hate it.

"Edward," She murmured disapprovingly

"I need to go," I stood from my seat, running my hand through my hair, sensing my appearance was unkempt, I knew she was pitying me.

"Of course, and once again Edward I'm truly sorry for not telling you that I'm…" She blushed furiously "A virgin,"

"You are forgiven Isabella," I smiled by her door "Besides that can be changed without great difficulty,"

XXXXX

My phone ringing caused an abrupt wake from my slumber.

"What?" I groaned into the receiver.

"Well hello to you too brother," Rose's voice chimed on the end of the line.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?"

"Nothing, you just sound happier than usual,"

"I'm always happy,"

"I beg to differ,"

"Of course you do,"

"So what is the reason for you calling me at 2.13 in the morning?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me and Emmett tomorrow."

"And you couldn't have called to ask me this at a reasonable time; some of us humans aren't nocturnal Rose"

"Please just say yes Edward,"

"I don't know let me just check my schedule,"

"What schedule?"

"It was a joke Rose,"

"Well obviously not a very good one,"

"I beg to differ"

"Oh please stop begging to differ and answer the question,"

"Right the question, what was it that you were after again?"

"Edward!" Rose's voice grew agitated at my delay

"Oh of course! My gracious presence at dinner with Emmett and yourself tomorrow, tomorrow in this sense technically equalling today,"

"I'll give you a gracious kick up the ass if you don't fucking give me an answer,"

"Yes,"

"Great! I'll text you the details at what you deem a reasonable time Edward," She laughed hanging up abruptly. Rose laughing? Something was definately

worng. That and the fact that I still hadn't had sex since my meeting with Isabella and this aching kind of horny prevented me from falling back to sleep

without having to masturbate . Again. My dick was getting sick of the sensation of my hand rubbing it and that had me worried.

* * *

_Please review, even if you believe the story isn't deserving._


	6. Irony

_This chapter gives us more of an insight into Bella's upbringing and past. _

* * *

Isabella's Point Of View

"Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

"No,"

"No, what no? That's not an answer to my question,"

"I've told you that it's over,"

"Over?"

"Yes over,"

"We need to talk,"

"We are,"

"Please Bells,"

"My name is not Bells, it's Isabella,"

"What because you're a fancy doctor now, I can't call you Bells?"

"Bella by all means but not Bells,"

"If I stop calling you Bells can we get back together?"

"No Jacob!"

"But I love you,"

"No you don't,"

"I do! Let me in and I'll prove it to you,"

I scoffed "You can't come in Jacob,"

"So you're going to make me stand out here in the corridor?"

"I'm not going to make you do anything,"

"Why are you doing this?" He whined, his expression hurt.

"I don't want you Jacob, I don't love you"

"But you did,"

"That wasn't love,"

"Is this because I wanted to take our relationship further?" Jacob whispered, almost ashamed.

"No, I just don't feel anything for you in that way,"

"I'm sorry Bella please; I can wait until you're ready for sex,"

"Stop it!" I snapped exasperated "It was never about being ready Jacob! I just didn't want to have sex with you,"

"You don't mean that,"

"Just go,"

"Take me back,"

"I've found someone else," I lied; damn I had been doing that a lot lately.

"Someone else?"

"Yes, I've moved on and it's about time you do too,"

"What's his name?"

"That's really none of your business,"

"Have the two of you…."

"Goodbye Jacob,"

"Bella wait…." I shut the door in his face, leaving no time for him to continue his plea.

"Bella open this door right now!" He yelled, his fist coming into contact numerous times with the mahogany wood.

Jacob Black, a friendship that had been pressured into becoming more. It seemed he had been more in a relationship with my father than my actual self, the time they spent together in comparison to the time we spent as a 'couple' together was appalling large. I had heard him once describe me merely as a trophy girlfriend to his friends, though why anyone would believe me a suitable trophy girlfriend, I was utterly clueless. It wasn't that I was ugly, but nothing more than ordinary. Jacob had seemed desperate to 'get into my panties' as my best friend Alice had put it, and I was unwilling to let him anywhere near that region. Of course it didn't take him long to find a female who was more than willing, though even to this day he would not admit he had cheated. Monogamy was a must for me and Jacob wasn't able to understand that. His mind set was still that of a child, and his ability to think before he acted was considerably lacking.

"Bella!" Shit, why wouldn't he just fuck off.

"Excuse me?" Though this voice neither mine nor Jacob's. I peered through the spy whole, and of course there stood Edward in his doorway looking as though he had just woken, his hair in unruly tangles and his expression dark.

"What?" Jacob snapped his anger evident.

"People are accommodated in this building and such noise, like the one you're creating can be very disrupting in the early hours of the morning," His point was accurate, Jacob had decided to confront me at 7:45am, obviously in an attempt to catch me before work.

"I'm just waiting to be let in," There was no chance of that happening.

"You're a friend of Isabella's?" He asked though his tone dripped with disinterest.

"Boyfriend actually," That lying fuck.

"Isabella never mentioned a boyfriend," His eyes desperate to roll.

"Well technically, I'm her ex-boyfriend,"

"Well that clears things up,"

"Huh?" Really Jacob, still as ignorant as ever?

"I'm assuming that Isabella doesn't want you here?"

"She does,"

"Then surely you'd be on the other side of the door?"

"Like I said, I'm just waiting to be let in,"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Edward spoke calmly

"What has this got to do with you?"

"I'm merely trying to catch up on some sleep, yet you…" Edward gestured towards Jacob with his left hand whilst the right tugged itself through his mane of hair.

"Jacob Black,"

"_Jacob Black_, are deeming it rather impossible,"

"Like I said, I'm waiting,"

"A man can spend a lifetime waiting,"

"Well Bella's worth it,"

"I don't doubt that, I just think you'd be better off waiting for someone who would actually like you too,"

"I'm sorry but who are you?"

"Your ex-girlfriends neighbour, though I'm pretty sure that's quite obvious,"

"Obvious was never my thing,"

"_Obviously_,"

"Bella!" Jacob pounded the door once more, causing Edward to smirk

"Mr Black, as I mentioned before this is a homely environment and you're disorderly behaviour doesn't bode well with me,"

"Fine, I'm leaving, but I'll be back," Jacob sighed, stalking off in a huff, I watched as Edward chuckled and shook his head. He knocked lightly on my door and I opened it slightly.

"Thank you," I muttered my cheeks aflame.

"I understand that you heard that?"

I nodded, Edward chuckled again.

"That is why I don't do long term," he joked, but as I looked into his eyes I could tell there was a seriousness to what had been said.

"I don't think what I had with Jacob could really be described as long term," I smiled weakly; this topic not being one of my favourite.

"Is that why you broke up?" he asked, genuine curiosity crossing his face.

I inhaled sharply "Partly, that and I had discovered he had cheated on me numerous times,"

Edward's jaw clenched and I could see anger pooling in his eyes. He didn't speak, which was odd as I had readied myself for the words 'I'm sorry to hear that,' but they never came.

He finally broke the silence but was still evidently aggravated "I'm very much a devout monogamist," The statement shocked me, it was an odd thing for a sex addict to admit "I've never understood people who cheat," Edward concluded. And I knew there was a story behind the statement.

"He won't admit it though; I think he seems to believe he had good reason," I muttered

"Good reason?"

"He's a man and I refused to give him what he wanted,"

"He calls you Bella," Edward murmured, obviously an earlier observation.

"Yes he does,"

"Do you prefer being called Bella?"

"I don't really mind, Isabella, Bella, either is fine,"

"I see," He nodded, the look on his beautiful face thoughtful. I sneered inwardly at myself for the use of the word beautiful; it's an unnecessary addition, yet one that rang true all the same.

"Which do you prefer?" I asked, though mainly due to the fact that our silence was unnerving. Edward licked his lips whilst pondering over the question, and I found myself intrigued, waiting for an answer.

"Isabella," he stated, yet didn't explain why.

"I'm sorry Jacob woke you,"

"I've endured worse awakenings,"

"Do you want to come in? I could make some coffee," The offer was out before I could truly mull over the decision in my mind.

"I don't want to keep you," Edward hesitated.

"Please, as a way of saying thank you,"

He sighed deeply as if being invited into a neighbour's house for coffee was dangerous territory. Then again with Edward everything could be deciphered as dangerous territory.

"Okay," He agreed, though his smile seemed wary.

"I'm not going to attack you with questions Edward," I mused trying to lighten the mood; I pulled open my door and stepped aside to let him enter.

"Good," He mumbled under his breath. He eyed my kitchen table, which was covered in a mass of files and books. I could see the interest in his eyes.

"Work?" he asked gesturing toward the table.

"Yeah," I watched as he moved slowly toward the piles of documents.

He picked up a file and eyed it.

"Are these the files of your patients?"

I nodded my head.

"Am I here?" He questioned, I was anxious as to where this was headed.

"All my patients are," I answered cautiously

"Can I see my file?"

"There's not really much in there, we've only had two sessions,"

"Please,"

I joined him by the table and started rifling through the mess, I found the file labelled 'Edward Mason Cullen' and handed it over to him. I took a seat on my couch.

"You can sit and read it if you want,"

Edward didn't speak; he merely sat down next to me, his knee accidentally brushing mine. I ignored the tingle that pulsed up my thigh and waited hesitantly for him to open the file. I didn't know why I was so anxious, there was hardly anything in there, but this was Edward Cullen, the most temperamental man I had ever encountered.

"Huh," He muttered "I've never had my life documented like this before,"

I stayed silent, waiting for some sort of indication as to which was his mood was about to swing.

"Addiction: Sex," Edward read, "Really Isabella?"

"I didn't know how else to put it," I explained, feeling a blush creep up my skin.

"Session analysis," Edward continued "Session 2, failed to comply with given instruction," I watched as he read the statement with a smirk.

"Amused are we?" I questioned, relief washing over me. I'd managed not to anger him.

"Only when it comes to you and your bluntness Isabella," He chuckled "There is one thing though,"

Shit. "Please don't leave this lying around, if it had been someone else in here this morning, they could have easily seen this, and I like to keep my private life exactly that, private.

"I was going to put them all away when I got back from work this evening, but you're right, I'm sorry I was so careless,"

"It's fine Isabella, there's no need to apologise, I just don't want that kind of information falling into the wrong hands, it would ruin me, more than it already has," He handed me the file and I placed it on my lap.

"I have to admit Isabella, I'm quite lucky to have found you, or more rather lucky to have had my sister find you,"

"I'm just doing my job Edward,"

"It's more than that," He mumbled

"Pardon?"

"You don't think Jacob Black will cause any more trouble do you?" He avoided my question, and it left me feeling powerless.

"Nothing's ever certain when it comes to Jacob,"

"He did say he'd be back," Edward informed me

"I don't see the point; all he's doing is making me despise him more than I already do,"

"Can't you tell your parents that he's bothering you? Maybe they could intervene,"

I stilled, he'd unknowingly touched a nerve. "That's highly unlikely; Jacob's a God in my father's eyes,"

Edward's face contorted with confusion "Even after his betrayal?"

"Charlie, my dad, he doesn't know about it, I've never had the heart to tell him,"

"That's ridiculous," Edward stated, aggravating me.

"Charlie adores Jacob, if I had told him he probably wouldn't have believed me anyway,"

Edward's fists clenched, he looked down towards his feet.

"He was always trying to keep us together, after I broke up with Jacob, he took his side immediately, said I was too picky and that I didn't know a good thing when I had one,"

I could tell Edward was slightly taken aback, anger flooded his face.

"Do you stay in contact with him?"

"He calls now and then, but my relationship with him is lacking,"

"What about your mother?"

I felt my chest tighten. "She's dead,"

Again there was no 'I'm sorry to hear that,' instead he was watching me intently.

"How?"

"A drug addiction," I admitted,

"How ironic," He stated. I knew it was a referral to my job position.

"She got what was coming to her," My voice was bitter, as always when it came to her.

This caused Edward's head to jerk up with intrigue.

"Your own mother?"

"She died because of her addiction; she put it before her own child, what am I supposed to think?"

"Did you love her?"

"Maybe at some point in my life, but it wasn't reciprocated,"

"How long has it been since her death?"

"Four years,"

"Do you miss her?"

"No," It was true I did not.

"So you became a psychiatrist, to prevent others from going through what you have," Edward wasn't asking.

"Yes,"

"I think you should get ready for work Isabella," He never seemed to show any pity or sorrow, it made me feel as though I was impartial to his judgement and I liked it.

"I should," I stood abruptly, his file falling to the floor. I bent to retrieve it but his hand stopped me.

"It's fine I'll do that, go and get ready," Edward instructed.

I left him with the file and returned ten minutes later in an attire of greater formality; Edward was still sat on the sofa, once again reading through his file.

"I must admit you do have lovely hand writing Isabella," He mused upon noticing my return.

I blushed furiously at the comment; I had no idea as to why the statement had such an effect on me.

"That's very kind of you to say," I thanked him.

He looked up at me, his eyes carefully focused on my face, I may have felt impartial to his judgement yet I was under scrutiny beneath his gaze. He was so god damn attractive. And a sex addict.

"I seem to have forgotten one key factor to our conversation,"

"What's that?" Edward asked

"The coffee,"

A smile spread across his face. Why was he so attractive? Maybe it was the ultimate test? Although it seemed impossible for him to reciprocate the physical pull, even if he did look at me as if I were the last woman to roam the earth. It was a reminder to me that, that was probably how he looked at every woman he had ever been with physically, though I was in no position to claim that he wanted me in any physical way.

"Is everything okay Isabella?" He questioned pulling me from my train of thought.

"Oh, yes, coffee, you still want some?" I babbled flustered. Edward rose swiftly from his position on the sofa.

"I'm keeping you," He declined.

"No, no you're not,"

"Isabella honestly, we can have coffee another time,"

"Fine," I resigned, he was correct, my first patient was meeting me at the office in just over an hour.

"I'll be seeing you," He smirked by the door, there was obviously an underlying meaning to the statement that I had not yet caught onto.

"Have a nice day Edward,"

"You too Isabella," He responded, closing the door behind him.

Edward's Point Of View

"I hear you've returned to sanity," I chuckled into my mobile upon seeing the caller ID.

"Not fully man, I've left a good couple hours of sleep behind," Jasper groaned.

"So how was it?"

"Great, if you enjoy being under a constant UV attack,"

"Caught the sun then I take it?" I laughed

"That's not the only thing,"

"You've contracted an STD?"

"No! I met a girl,"

"Fuck,"

"What do you mean, 'Fuck'?"

"You're in love with an Aussie,"

"She's American actually and her name's Alice, Alice Brandon,"

"So you're in love with an American,"

"Yes, I mean no! I'm not in love with her; we're not even together,"

"It was a holiday thing?"

"It wasn't a thing my friend, it was a romance,"

"You fucked her didn't you?"

"Edward! Is that all you think about?" Yes, more so now that Isabella Swan's in my life.

"You either did or you didn't," He remained silent and that was all the answer I needed.

Jasper had been my best friend for years; even so, I still hadn't mentioned anything about my 'needs' to him.

"So you're not in contact with her at all?"

"No, we both agreed that it would be easier that way,"

"But you still like her?"

"Yeah,"

"So technically the decision made no sense,"

"It did at the time Edward, but now I'm starting to regret it, she was really something,"

"Well you could always look her up,"

"Yeah, I guess I just gotta think about it,"

Jasper was always so open, and in my mind I felt guilty for hiding so many secrets from him, hiding a part of me that ruled majorly. I wanted to tell him, but the last thing I wanted was pity from the only true friend I had. So again I let it slide, the truth was he'd probably never know. And I was deserving of only one title. The Coward.

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_Next Chapter will involve Edward's dinner with Rosalie which brings some interesting news. Review if you would..._


	7. Attraction

_Thanks for all the great reviews, here is the next chapter._

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_Edward's Point Of View_

I was conflicted. Deeply conflicted, and not over whether it was time to finally tell Jasper the truth about the darker me. What a lovely welcome home gift that would've been after a month spent in Australia. Some people would have found it strange that a guy liked to spend a vast amount of time in a country without any contact with the reality of his life back home. But that was Jasper, when he went on a recreational holiday, he wouldn't contact anybody, unless in extreme trouble. It was something I had grown accustomed to. The factor I enjoyed the most was how everything returned to normality once he was back on homeland. He would call and that would be that, it was natural and I understood the reasons for his distance once abroad, I respected that and he was grateful. I was incapable of revealing my darkest secret to him though. The secret, that was the confliction at hand here. It had been too long, longer than I had ever endured and my patience was wearing thin. I didn't want to disappoint those around me but I needed it. I needed the release. I tried to convince myself that it was want and not need, but was unsuccessful, like in most areas of my life. That contributed to why womanizing was one of my favourite pass times; it was probably the only thing I was good at. I didn't want to let Rose down though, or Isabella for that matter. I could see the attraction with each look she cast upon me and as much as I wanted to ravish her repeatedly, it was not an option. For Now.

The time had come for my meet with Rosalie and Emmett. I took a cab, seeing as it was likely that I would need to be highly intoxicated to endure an evening with Rose. I loved her dearly but she could be very full on, always trying to get what she wanted. When she had laid her eyes upon Emmett he hadn't stood a chance. He was a good brother-in-law who could relate to both me and his wife, it was odd to see how obedient he was around Rose, seeing as he was strongly built and could easily put her in her place. Not that I condoned violence, especially toward women.

"Edward you're here," Rosalie smiled, as I paid the cab fare. She looked different; her skin was more radiant but the look on her face read guilt.

"Rose," I greeted as she pulled me into a hug, I looked over her shoulder towards Emmett and gave him a small smile, chuckling as he waved back at me enthusiastically.

"This place does the best steak," She beamed as she pulled me towards the door Emmett held open. We were seated by a large painting of what appeared to be a dancing buffalo in a cornfield; it was probably one of the oddest pieces of art I had ever seen.

"Sir?" The high pitched voice brought my attention away from the strange art piece

"Hmm?" I murmured looking up at the young waitress, he cheeks were a flush and her mouth was slightly ajar. Yeah bitch, it's just a face. The pink shade disagreed with her, and had the opposite effect of the blush that commonly graced the cheeks of Isabella. I could feel my longing at the thought of my young, inexperienced physiatrist. The inexperience of course referring to her lack of knowledge in the bedroom and not of that within her job.

"Is there anything you would like to drink?" Dr Swan's juices, my mind threatened, but I ignored its requests.

"I'll have a Bourbon please, and a glass of water," I informed her returning my gaze back towards those who were sat at the table. I was greeted with Emmett's amused face.

"What?" I asked, tempted to laugh.

"That was cruel Edward, cruel,"

"I don't understand,"

"You barley acknowledged that poor girl,"

I chuckled at the statement, what was it with waitresses? Always so cliché.

"So how have things been Edward?" Rose asked, fiddling with her napkin. I knew she wanted to know about my sessions with Isabella, but that was not to be discussed in Emmett's presence.

"Good," I answered cryptically hoping she would move diverge from the topic.

The waitress arrived with our drinks and took our orders.

"Edward listen," Rose began, here it was, the 'something' she had needed to tell me. The reason for her guilt ridden face. "I know right now you're in a bit if a dry spell when it comes to employment,"

I cautiously took a sip of my bourbon, if this was going in the direction I believed it to be then I was going to need another.

"Well I took the liberty of finding you a job," She rambled. Emmett gulped loudly; I knew he had been brought tonight as back up.

"I see," I murmured, my hand raking through my hair.

"It's at that new restaurant on the corner; they were looking for staff and I..."

"Why would you do that Rose?" I interrupted, my annoyance becoming more evident.

"You, you, can't just sit at home and do nothing every day,"

"You and I both know that, that is not what I do,"

"Understand Edward, that this will do you good,"

"Did it ever occur to you that you could have consulted me about this first?"

"Consulted you Edward? You would have said no either way,"

"And I have every right to," I informed her pinching the bridge of my nose in aggravation.

"Listen to me Edward; you refuse to go to dad for help, who would willingly offer you a place at the firm and you don't even bother with your art anymore, I've seen it locked away in that closet of yours,"

"So you think being a waiter is my calling do you?"

"That's not what I'm saying, but it's a start and a distraction,"

"I need another drink," I muttered, walking over to the small drinks bar. I watched as Rosalie and Emmett appeared to be in a heated discussion. He was either disagreeing with what she had done or there was further news to come. I downed my bourbon, ordered another and then made my way back to the table with it in hand.

"I'll do it," I sighed in defeat. She peered at me, a grin on her face. Emmett looked relieved.

"You will?" She questioned excitedly.

I nodded. I could you the money. Besides it was either this or turning to my father to help and that was the last thing I needed, my father having something to hold over me.

"There's something else," Emmett's voice announced as Rosalie's eyes darted over to him.

"Uhuh,"

"Emmett and I, we're-we're," I had never heard Rosalie struggle to form a sentence.

"Rosalie's pregnant," Emmet explained, taking her hand in his.

I sat dumbfounded, it all made sense of course, Rosalie's cheerful nature and glowing skin. There was no doubt she would be the perfect mother, no doubt that she and Emmett would be the perfect parents.

"Well it was only a matter of time, congratulations," I laughed.

"Thank you Edward,"

"Do mum and dad know?"

"No, I wanted you to be the first person we told,"

All negativity had gone and I watched the two of them, so content, so happy. The perfect family. A love that I was incapable of.

"I'm privileged," I concluded.

XXXX

I knew taking a cab had been the right choice, after god knows how many bourbons, it was rather obvious I was slightly pissed. However I could still walk in a straight line though and string coherent sentences together. I fiddled with my keys in the elevator and slowly made my way to my door. I could hear the light roar of noise coming from across the hall; Isabella's television no doubt and before my brain could actually send the signals needed to tell my hands to stop, I knocked lightly on her door. I waited momentarily and the door was pulled open. There she stood, wearing tight fitting navy jeans and a plain white top ,her waved hair around her shoulders.

"Edward?" She quizzed "What is it?"

I want to touch you.

"I need to talk to you," Was the sentence I opted for.

"Um, okay, come in," She stepped aside to make way for me and I gladly entered. I chose to take a seat on her couch, noting that the files from earlier had been put away. Good. I looked up at her standing form and smirked.

"Have you been drinking Edward?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I chuckled, leaning my head back and looking up at her ceiling. It occurred to me that this was my third time in her apartment yet she had never stepped foot in mine.

"Have you got anything to drink?"

"I think you've had enough Edward," She seemed to like saying my name.

"I'm a grown adult Isabella," I liked saying hers too. "I can drink as much as I please,"

"We wouldn't want you dying of alcohol poisoning now would we?" She smiled taking a seat next to me. I could feel the heat radiating off of her body, I wanted to reach out and touch her, but that would've been inappropriate.

"Is everything okay Edward?"

"Of course, I'm newly employed and my sister is expecting her first child,"

"That's lovely news,"

"Hmmmm,"

"Are you disappointed?"

"No, merely conflicted,"

"About?"

"I don't know if I can do it Isabella,"

"Be an uncle?"

"Stop my addiction,"

"Have you engaged in intercourse?"

I chuckled. "Always intercourse Isabella, why can't you just call it fucking,"

"It lacks professionalism Edward,"

"You're not at work right now Isabella,"

"Either way, I prefer to call it intercourse,"

"Please, just for me," I didn't know why I so desperately wanted her to use the word.

She looked a little taken aback, that's right baby, I'm not right in the head.

"Say it,"

She sighed heavily and her interest got the better of her pride. "Have you fucked anybody?"

"No, but I want to,"

"Anyone in particular?"

Yes you. "No, but I won't be able to keep up this chastity for much longer,"

"It's up to you Edward; I can't control what you do,"

"Don't say that," I murmured.

"Is that what you want? To be controlled?" She was confused and that annoyed her.

"Why are you virgin?" I ignored her demand for answers.

"That's none of your business,"

"Tell me," I whispered looking her in the eye.

"No," She stated looking away from me.

"It doesn't make sense,"

"It doesn't have too,"

"I want to know,"

"As a child, I'd never really felt loved. Neither by my mother nor my father. I grew up with the belief that I was unlovable, so when it came to being physical I always thought no man would ever want me. And when Jacob did, I couldn't understand it. I still don't. I don't want to understand why any man would want me,"

It seemed Dr Swan had many issues of her own. A drug addict mother and a loveless childhood.

"You can't run from physical attractions or your body's needs,"

"Well isn't that what you're doing? Running?" She snapped.

"Maybe it's time,"

"Time for what?"

"For you to be physical with a man,"

"Edward stop, I don't need your advice,"

"Wouldn't you like to be with a man who knows what he's doing?" I didn't know whether I was referring to myself or not.

She didn't speak nor did she look at me.

"Don't you want to experience how pleasurable _intercourse _can be?"

"Don't you Edward? Your fucking sessions seem to lack any desire to pleasure the other party."

I smirked, she looked flustered and the profanity slipped out of her mouth willingly.

"'The other party' as you so wittingly put it always leave satisfied, even if I do not aim to please anyone but myself,"

"Why must you make it so difficult for me to want to help you?"

"We're both loveless,"

"No, you have the love of your family and the women who adore your cock,"

I almost choked on my intake of air, the use of the word 'cock' in Isabella's vocabulary turned me on, more than I was used too.

"My cock?" I quizzed, tormenting her further.

"I'm sorry it just-" I could see in the dimly lit room that her blush was present, spreading down her chest.

"Don't apologise Isabella, after all I do have a cock,"

"I've noticed," She muttered

"You have?" I smirked.

"I mean, not that I've been-"

"I find you attractive too Isabella,"

She gulped loudly, my statement confirming her worst fears.

"I don't find you attractive," She lied

I chuckled loudly.

"Of course you don't,"

"I don't,"

"Please cut the crap, it's okay Isabella, you're only human,"

She opened her mouth to respond but was cut short by the forceful knock on her door. She moved quickly and peeked through the spyhole.

"Fuck,"

"Who is it?" I asked by her side.

"It's Jacob,"

Huh the fucker was back. I nudged her to the side and swung the door open before she could protest.

"Look Bells-" When he noticed that I was indeed not 'Bells' his face contorted in confusion.

"Can I help you?" I questioned my voice eerily calm.

"I need to talk to Bella,"

"Isabella's busy,"

"Aren't you the neighbour from this morning?"

"Yes,"

"Well what are you doing here?"

"Things with Isabella" I'd prefer to be doing things to Isabella.

"Jacob just go," Isabella sighed coming to stand next to me. She place her arm around my waist, shooting me a look and I knew to play along.

"Him? He's the someone else?"

"_He_, is Edward, my boyfriend," Fuck I liked the sound of that.

"But Bella,"

"I think it's time you left Jacob," I smirked, Isabella's hand subconsciously playing with the fabric of my shirt.

"She won't put out you know," He sneered angrily. I was close to punching him.

"_She_ already has," I smiled letting the door close in his face. We listened carefully as he muttered profanities under his breath on the other side of the door, before he gave it once last pound and I could hear him walk away.

I turned to Isabella who still had her arm wrapped around me; she pulled it away upon realising and looked down.

"So I'm your boyfriend huh?"

"Don't start Edward,"

"You know normally women find their boyfriends attractive," I smirked.

"For god sakes Edward! What do you want to hear? That I find you attractive, because if so then yes I do, I find you very god damn attractive," She hissed.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Edward, I am your doctor and you are my patient, now whether there be physical attraction or not this kind of behaviour just won't do,"

"What about your little show just then? Was that acceptable?"

"I just wanted him to leave; he makes my skin crawl,"

"Do I make your skin crawl?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it,"

"No,"

"What do I do to you?"

"Nothing Edward, you do nothing,"

"I could change that,"

"You've had too much to drink Edward; this is just you seeking some form of sexual release,"

"Sexual release? From talking? That's not usually how it works,"

"I'm your psychiatrist Edward; you want my help, not me,"

I chuckled darkly, she was so incredibly wrong.

"Goodnight Isabella,"

"Goodnight Edward, I'll see you at our next appointment when you're sober,"

Obviously Isabella hadn't heard. A drunken mind spoke a sober heart.

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_Review and let me know what you think. Quite a lot to take in in this chapter._


	8. What you do to me

_To those of you who have allowed this story to grace your favourite's list and alerted it, I thank you very much so. I do however have a request….Review. Oh and one last thing. Enjoy._

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_Edward's Point Of View._

The throbbing taking place could only be described as one thing. Abnormal. I hadn't suffered from a hangover such as this one since quite easily college. Perhaps this was what I was going to have to resort to, the becoming of an alcoholic as well as a sex addict. Then however the meetings with Isabella would be far less entertaining. After my 'inappropriate' behaviour last night I was having to make the decision of either apologising or confessing to her that I wanted to fuck her until she found herself crippled. The latter seemed the more appealing option but as Isabella would put it the more 'unacceptable'. Not only now was it a matter of my release, but also the wanting to give her a sexual experience she would never forget. The problem with this? She was my physiatrist and seemed unwilling to succumb to her yearnings. Deep within my subconscious I had made it my mission to bed her, and I wanted her to give me her virginity willingly without confusion. It had never been like this. I had never cared for the needs of a woman, but something about Isabella made her deserving. That and I was finding myself attracted to not only her undeniable beauty but also her character. That factor within itself intrigued and emasculated me as I was unaware of whether or not I marvelled in feeling that way. The positive? Isabella was admittedly attracted to me and had fully acknowledged that I too saw her sexual appeal. This meant I was a fragment closer to getting what I wanted. Isabella Swan.

A decision had been made as I knocked gently on her door. Visiting her apartment seemed to be a common occurrence. The door opened and I took in the sight of her, clothed in a white dressing gown, her dark hair wet. I couldn't help but imagine her naked body beneath the robe and my eyes lingered for a moment longer than necessary. Before she could greet me I spoke.

"I apologise," I was not sorry for what had taken place.

"There's no need Edward,"

"My behaviour was uncalled for," It had been hard to resist the urge to touch her.

"You were highly intoxicated, lacking control,"

"That does not mean that I was dishonest when claiming that I find you attractive,"

I watched as she registered this for a moment, undoubtedly trying to form a suitable response.

"I too admit that you are good-looking, but as I stated last night, nothing can come of this,"

"I'm aware," Something would come of this. "That is why I want you to know that I am sorry,"

"I am also apologetic, for causing you to pretend to be something that you're not in front of Jacob," She fiddled with a strand of her hair, biting her full bottom lip with force. My hand seemed to have a mind of its own as my thumb moved to pull the bleeding lip from between her pearly white teeth. Her skin was soft to touch. The action was intimate, and had underlying signals conveying that I was well aware of the something that would indeed come of this, even if she were reluctant to admit it. I smiled crookedly at her and she appeared slightly taken aback.

"We wouldn't want you bleeding to death now, would we?" The air lightened. I placed my hand in my jean pocket, partly so I could savour the touch and somewhat to keep it under control. She smiled shyly licking away the blood that sat on her rouge lip. For the first time I wanted to kiss her. Not fuck her. Kiss her. That's right baby, there's more to me than just the sex addict.

"How's your head?" Isabella asked a knowing smile on her face.

"It's aching," I admitted sheepishly "And my throat feels like sandpaper,"

"I'm well acquainted with the feeling,"

I imagined a drunken Isabella, a smirk attempting to reach the surface. I couldn't help but envision her as a sexy drunk, confident in her body and persona.

"Bella, what's taking you so long?" A feminine voice called from within her apartment. My look changed to quizzical.

"Just give me a minute," She called across her shoulder. "My friend from Phoenix, she arrived in the early hours of the morning," Her explanation answering my questions.

"I want us to get some coffee before you have to get to work," The voice informed, the owner appearing beside Isabella in the door way. She was a small woman, in every way, with dark eyes and darker hair. It was short and flicked out in all directions. I watched as she took in my appearance.

"And who is this?" She asked Isabella a small smile forming on her lips.

"Edward, my neighbour,"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Edward, I'm Alice Brandon," She shook my hand gently. Alice Brandon. Why was the name so familiar?

"_You're in love with an Aussie,"_

"_She's American actually and her name's Alice, Alice Brandon,"_

"_So you're in love with an American,"_

"_Yes, I mean no! I'm not in love with her; we're not even together,"_

I looked again at the small woman in front of me.

"Jasper Hale," I announced.

"Pardon?" Alice questioned.

"Jasper Hale, he's a good friend of mine, he mentioned meeting a girl named Alice Brandon whilst in Australia,"

"Jasper? That's incredibly uncanny,"

"Would you care to enlighten me on this Jasper?" Isabella turned to Alice.

"I will Bella, whilst we have coffee,"

"He mentioned wanting to get in touch with you,"

"Maybe you could give him my number, tell him to call me,"

I nodded and she walked away to write it down.

My attention returned to Isabella, she was tugging on her bottom lip.

"Stop it," I mumbled, as the blood surfaced again. She freed it as Alice returned.

"Here," She handed me the folded piece of paper and I slipped it into my jean pocket.

"I'll be sure to give it to him," I smiled, and though I wanted Isabella alone, I was happy that I was going to be able to do something that would favour my only friend.

"Goodbye Edward," Isabella fare welled, licking the blood from her lip before closing the door.

I returned to my apartment, picking up my cell phone. I waited as the number dialled.

"Edward?" Jasper voice questioned after the third ring.

"The hunt for Alice Brandon is over,"

XXXX

_Isabella's Point Of View._

"Enough about my endeavours with Jasper, clue me in on this Edward,"

"He's my neighbour," I replied bleakly, not wanting to discuss our strange relationship with her.

"Yes, you're extremely attractive neighbour,"

"Alice there is nothing going on between Edward and I,"

"I never said that there was,"

"No, but you insinuated it,"

"I just think that he could be good virginity losing material," I wanted to laugh at the statement; yes losing your virginity to a sex addict, that was always the way to go.

"Alice that's the last thing on my mind,"

"Just because you're a working woman, it doesn't mean that having sex shouldn't be your first priority,"

"You sound ridiculous,"

"Bella you deserve this,"

"Alice…."

"It's your virginity Bella; it's up to you to decide what it is that you do with it,"

"I'll keep it…. For now,"

XXXX

"Edward," I greeted as I arrived at my front door, he was turning his key in the lock, myself having the very same intention.

"Isabella," He smiled opening the door to his apartment.

"I actually have something I've been meaning to give you," I informed him, he nodded acceptingly before entering his apartment, leaving the door on the latch.

I retrieved what was needed from my kitchen cabinet and entered his home cautiously. This was my first time stepping foot inside, it was spacious and a creamy colour. I took a seat on the large l-shaped sofa. The air felt intense.

"I was changing out of my work attire," Edward explained emerging from what I assumed to be his bedroom. A fragment of me wanted to know what that room looked like, and if it expressed the addict within him.

"How is the new job?" I questioned as headed towards his kitchen workspace.

"I'm a waiter Isabella; I'd hardly call it a revelation,"

I smiled at the comment. Edward sat down beside me, placing two glasses and a bottle of red wine onto the coffee table.

"Have some if you'd like," He gestured towards the bottle taking a sip of his already full glass. I debated over the offer momentarily before taking the bottle in my hands. I watched as the corners of Edward's mouth twitched upwards, and my gut told me that he was taking advantage of my needed visit.

"The reason for your visit?" He quizzed. His eyes on me as I sipped the delicious wine.

I placed the small box on the table. He picked them up and smirked at what he saw.

"Libidno," He read.

"They assist in supressing sexual urges," I explained anxious.

"I see," He opened the packet and placed one tablet on his tongue taking a sip of his wine.

"How's your friend?" He asked, though his voice contained no particular interest.

"With yours," I informed.

"Still?"

"Yes, in fact she's no longer staying with me,"

"No?"

"Jasper's offered to let her reside with him for the remainder of her visit,"

"And does that bother you?"

"No, she's very much infatuated with him and I enjoy having my own space,"

"Being a psychiatrist must be eventful," He spoke changing topic.

"Yes…. but it also has the ability to be such a depressing career,"

"Then why do it?"

"You know why," My upbringing was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

"Relax Isabella; I'm merely trying to figure you out,"

The statement left me unnerved.

"What careers interest you?"

"I'm prone to painting,"

"A painter? You aspire to be a painter?" The profession suited Edward.

"A well renowned painter,"

"I assume you are very skilful,"

"During college I managed to sell some works,"

"Where are the rest?"

"Locked away,"

"Why is that?"

"They're more for a personal keeping,"

"Could I possibly see them?"

Edward seemed reluctant for a moment, evidently pondering over the decision.

He stood as did I, feeling a light buzz form as a result of the wine. He removed a key from the hooks by his front door and instructed me to follow him down his hallway. We moved in silence until we reached our destination. The rustic key turned with force in the lock and Edward pushed the door open. He stepped inside turning on the lights. The room was small, more a closet of sorts and was painted white. Inside his works of art were stood each on an easel. All paintings were beautifully crafted yet hindered a dark element of sorts.

"I haven't painted in over three years," Edward admitted behind me, closing the door, stepping further into the small space.

"You're very talented,"

"I was,"

"I'm sure you still are,"

"My mind's been elsewhere,"

"Painting again would be good for you, another outlet,"

He snorted loudly. I turned to him, brown meeting green.

"Please Edward, paint again,"

His eyes narrowed slightly, and I took in our close proximity.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

He didn't speak.

"Isn't a profession you enjoy worth time and effort?" I questioned, confused as to why he didn't want to pursue something he claimed brought him happiness.

"I'm broken," He sighed, a sadness within his eyes. His words had a depth to them, referring to his addiction.

"I want to fix you," I whispered lowering my head.

"I'm incapable of many things Isabella; painting for the time being seems to be one of them," His smooth voice offered insight. I returned my gaze to his handsome face, a mask to what torment lay beneath. Why was resisting him always so hard? I was constantly telling both him and myself no, when the reality was that I wanted my answer to be yes and it couldn't be. I watched as his hand pulled my bottom lip from between my teeth. Again. It was an involuntary habit that occurred when I was pondering over situations, especially those that involved Edward. It was unfair, he had touched me twice today and I knew it would be wrong to retaliate, no matter how much I wanted to feel his skin beneath my fingertips.

"You really ought to stop doing that," I sighed against his hand.

"I really ought to," He agreed but his thumb still lingered on my bottom lip.

"It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's just…"

"Inappropriate?" He concluded his hand returning to his side.

I nodded.

"Perhaps it's best I go?"

"Isabella, it's Friday evening, please stay a little longer,"

I nodded, I didn't truly want to leave, but the more time spent in his presence meant a greater lack of self-control.

He opened the door allowing me to exit first, before stepping out himself and locking the room once again. We returned to our positions on the sofa, Edward pouring us more wine.

"You have beautifully plump lips," He complemented as I took a sip from my glass. I could feel my cheeks heat as they flamed. Why did he have to say such things?

"Thank you," I muttered my wine becoming incredibly interesting.

"Was _that_ inappropriate?" He questioned, and I knew full well what game was about to commence.

"Please," I quietly begged, the sexual tension becoming unbearable.

"They're incredibly soft too,"

"No they're not," That was my mechanism, denial.

"Oh but they are," Edward smirked his thumb caressing my lower lip. I didn't pull away, instead I relished in the feeling.

"Edward…" My voice shaky.

"Perhaps _this _in inappropriate?" His hand moving from my lip to jaw bone, stroking it gently.

The ability to speak vacated my body.

"You enjoy this don't you Isabella? Having me touch you,"

I shook my head.

"I won't stop until you tell me too,"

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again soon after.

My inability to form a sentence continued as Edward's hand descended lower, moving over my neck before resting at my right collar bone.

"It feels so good to finally touch you," He mused his face closer than before. "Does it feel good to be touched Isabella?"

Again I shook my head. But in reality I wanted him to put both hands on my body. Intimate parts.

"I'm waiting for the word,"

"St-" I tried. This couldn't go on.

"If it's what you want you'll say it," His soft hand hovering over the tops of my breasts.

"Stop," His touch was gone and I missed it.

I stood abruptly "I'm leaving," I stated

"I thought you might," Edward smirked, his confidence aggravating me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well it's obvious to me that you, Isabella, are afraid,"

"Of what? You?"

"Of giving into me,"

I remained silent, still standing above him. Edward rose to meet me, his body close to mine.

"You can touch me Isabella," He whispered

The urge to resist was almost undefeatable.

"I can't," I uttered my weak retaliation

"Touch me," His eyes meeting mine, seduction in the emerald pools.

And I did. I allowed my fingers to pull through his copper hair, tugging lightly. It was silky and unkempt and I felt his quiver as my hand trailed down the back of his neck. What was I doing? Touching a patient with such intimacy. I pulled my hand away in confusion.

"Don't," Edward scolded returning it to the base of his neck. "I've never had a woman touch me like this,"

Something within me felt pained at the statement, he had been with so many women yet he refused to allow any actual care. My hand ghosted over his shoulder, moving to his chest. I let my hand rest there momentarily before lowering my hands to his detectable abs. I didn't move my hand any further, if it reached any lower I'd have to suffer graver consequences. Edward had remained silent throughout the encounter; I continued to stare at my hand still placed on his lower stomach.

"What do I do to you Isabella?" He finally spoke, and I recognised the question from the night before.

What did Edward do to me? I knew for certain that the area between my thighs had dampened.

"What do I do to you Edward?"

His smirked resurfaced and he used one hand to gesture downwards. My eyes followed, only to be met by a visible bulge not far from where my hand rested. Realisation dawned on me; he was just as turned on as I.

"That is what you do to me," He stated, my eyes still focused on his erection. "With you however it isn't as obvious and I'd like to find out,"

I felt his hands on my waist pulling me to him, our bodies flush against each other, his erection pressing into my stomach. His hand slipped between us and stopped at the top of my jeans. I gasped slightly. He loosened the top button and lowered the zipper with his thumb. He didn't ask for my consent, merely pushed his hand in keeping above the fabric of my underwear. His fingers brushed against me in a way that I had never experienced and fought to keep my breathing intact. He came into contact with the moistened area of my panties and chuckled.

"Oh Isabella you're so very wet for me," His removed his hand from my jeans and refastened them. I was in a paralytic state, unable to comprehend the way in which he had just touched me.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Isabella," Edward soothed. His voice was hypnotizing, and all I wanted to do was drop to my knees and take him in my mouth. But I didn't, instead I pulled away from his grasp and vacated his apartment, his intoxicating heat had become too much.

* * *

_That became more sexual than expected. Reviews would be appreciated._


	9. Temptation

_I apologise for my late update. I have many reasons for being an unreliable author, namely a damaged laptop screen and the dramas of everyday life. If you are reading this fanfiction and have been doing so from the outset then I would like to thank you. Enjoy this chapter and review. Think of it as a way to brighten my sombre soul. _

* * *

_Edward's Point Of View_

I palmed my face roughly and then again. I groaned inwardly, knowing that if I ignored our momentary encounter, Isabella would happily oblige. I had been selfish, mere seconds ago had my hands on her and it wasn't my addiction that had fuelled the choice.

I crossed the hall, coaxing my present erection away, before knocking lightly on her door. She didn't answer and I chuckled dryly at the fact that I felt a lot like Jacob had the other day. I didn't bother shouting the obvious like 'Isabella I know you're in there' for it was evident I knew she was, just as she knew I was out here. I tapped a tune against the wood of her door. Firstly to calm my ever growing insanity and secondly to let her know that I was not someone she could deny.

"Is this what you want Isabella? For me to chase you?" I expelled heavy breaths, exasperated by her behaviour. Of course, in essence I was taking to myself, or her door if you would. It reminded me of a scene in a romantic film, a couple argue, and then he or she, confesses their love for the other through a barrier, essentially breaking it. This situation however had many alterations. Namely, Isabella and I were not a couple nor were we in love with one another. I pressed my heated forehead against the wood.

"We're both consenting adults Isabella, don't make something as simple as a touch more difficult than it needs to be" I breathed feeling my breath reflect off of the door and back against my skin. Before I could begin to enjoy the soothing feeling, my support was pulled from me, my fall stopped by my ability to grasp a door frame in what seemed to be under a second. It was surprising seeing as I was now wine fuelled.

"I'm not the one making this difficult," She snapped, shoving me lightly away from her door frame before joining me in the corridor. Evidently I wasn't being invited in.

"So you _were_ listening?" I couldn't help the smirk that grew.

"Yes, yes I was," Her eyes narrowing slightly.

"So you agree that we are both consenting adults?" I asked gesturing between the two of us.

"I'd hardly say that I gave you any consent to shove your hand into my jeans,"

I chuckled loudly at her comment.

"Stop that," She scolded evidently enraged, her finger prodding my chest pushing me towards my apartment door. I silenced at the contact, claiming her prodding hand in my own, holding it against my chest.

"Let go," She ordered, eyes level with mine.

I ignored her protests, my eyes teasing, _make me_.

The look on her face tempted. My thumb stroking hers, her hand twitching slightly at gesture.

"Do you want me to let go Isabella?"

She shrugged bashfully, obviously confused as to what it was that she wanted.

I tugged her towards me, not against me, but as close as I needed her to be.

"Can I tell you what I want?" I asked, my mouth hovering above her ear.

"I don't think that would we wise," A small frown forming on her seductively plump lips.

"In fear of what you might hear?"

"I doubt I'd be able to provide you with what it is that you want,"

"And what do you think that is?" My hand travelling along her forearm, fingering the fabric of her grey cardigan. It was ironic how she was once again allowing me to touch her.

"Something, that I cannot provide you with,"

"Stop being so cryptic Isabella," I brushed rich hair away from her shoulder, tucking strands behind the delicate skin of her ear. She was studying my face intently, her bottom lip between her teeth.

"You are addicted to sex Edward, and I am a virgin, there's nothing cryptic about it," Her words deadly.

"Of course" I removed my hands from her but she didn't step away.

"It's the truth Edward"

"Frankly I'm sick of the truth"

She wore a face of sorrow.

I reached for her hips, my fingernails digging through the fabric of her clothes, hard enough to leave a mark.

"Don't pity me Isabella," My voice hoarse.

Her hands enclosed around my wrists.

"I can't help but feel sorry for you Edward, I feel sorry for all my patients,"

"So that's what everything comes back to?" My fingers pressing harder, angered by her words.

"That, and the reason for your weekly visits is not something that can be ignored,"

"Can this be ignored?" My hands gripping her hips were all the emphasis needed.

She released her hold on me, trying to push back, but I clung to her. Her brown pools pleaded with me. But I was not one for mercy. I closed the small distance between our bodies, hearing a small gasp emit from her lips. I wasn't going to ask for permission, this part of me only liked to take. She had her bottom lip captured between her pearly white teeth and my left hand stroked its way up her side before pulling the plumpness free. My right given the job of holding her body firmly in place, not that she was attempting to break away. I brushed her cheek briefly, eyes transfixed on her mouth.

"Edward don-"

Gently I placed my lips upon hers, silencing her. A soft kiss, eyes closed.

Pulling back slightly, I listened to her shallow breaths, before gifting her with another. This time however I applied more pressure, slowly working against her. Isabella of course was unmoving, paralysed it would seem. I coated her lips with my own, elated when I felt her begin to return the pressure I was exerting. She moved against me with uncontrollable ease, nipping momentarily at my lips. Her hands fisting my shirt as I licked her bottom lip, wanting entrance into her mouth. I ached to taste more of the mint that lay upon the surface, combined with the taste of bitter citrus I unexpectedly found, perhaps too delicious. She stilled however, stepping out of my hold before I could stop her, the taste of her lingering.

Her cheeks flushed "We can't do this,"

"Isabella-" I began to protest, shifting forwards slightly.

"No," Her hands reaching out to stop me "This stops,"

My body was unaccustomed with rejection and I found it was an odd feeling to process.

She raised her hand to her darkened lips, licking them swiftly before her face contorted in what was evidential annoyance.

"You really can't control yourself can you?"

I sniggered at her realisation.

"It's my bad blood,"

"You are-"

"Irresistible it seems," I mused, the wine having officially gone to my head.

Isabella scoffed slightly, her anger evaporating slightly

Her face turned serious.

"Edward I know this refrain from sex is difficult for you, but the events of today really cannot occur again,"

And there it was, Isabella's denial. Again.

"Whatever," I muttered, my dejection heightened, turning to my door.

"Edward," Isabella's voice pleaded. "Please don't be angry with me. You have to understand where I'm coming from,"

"I'm tired Isabella,"

Tired of hearing you tell me I can't have you, even if I don't quite know the way in which actually want you.

"Let me tell you something" She sighed, her shadow overlapping with mine as she stood behind me and pushed open my door. She placed her hands upon my back and guided me into the apartment.

Once in I turned on her.

"What?"

"You make my eyes burn,"

I didn't quite know what to make of that.

"You're a beautiful man Edward, and that's always going to be hard to resist, but whatever you and I want is not more important than what you need,"

Beautiful? The only other woman to call me beautiful had been my mother.

"Yes, I suppose you're right" I nodded in agreement.

"So you agree that this is for the best?" Isabella needed to be sure.

"Yes," This was what she wanted to hear.

"Right, well then I'll let you get some rest" She seemed relived.

"I lied," I spoke, alarm surfacing amongst Isabella's features.

"I'm not tired, in fact I've been having some trouble sleeping recently,"

"Insomnia," Isabella noted.

"Yes, but only periodic, I think it's the result of my withdrawal from engaging in sexual activity,"

"Well, I can't prescribe you with sleeping tablets, that's a last resort,"

"I wasn't expecting you too"

"My advice would be to do something relaxing before you go to bed, something that readies you for sleep,"

"Thanks,"

Isabella stared expectantly, eyes telling me that she was intending on leaving but in order to do so I needed to step aside.

"You said that the events of today cannot occur again," My voice sounded uncertain.

She seemed worried as to see where this was going. She had every right to be.

"Let me kiss you one more time,"

"Edward," Isabella sighed

"Please," For an inexplicable reason I needed this.

The look on her face made it clear she was on the verge of agreeing.

"This will be another event categorised as one of today, one that will not be repeated again,"

The justification was reasonable, and Isabella understood that.

"Okay," She mumbled.

She shifted slightly towards me.

"I want you to kiss me" I instructed softly, I didn't want to make the first move, I wanted her to need this as much as I did.

I licked my lips slowly, and Isabella noticed.

Her hands came up to cup my face , fingers attentively tracing the paths of my cheek bones. Isabella inhaled sharply, lips pressing against my own. I smiled against them, thrilled to be reunited with the mint and citrus. I let my hands fall at her waist, brushing her sides rhythmically. My eyes had drifted closed, I wanted to savour her taste, knowing full well it wouldn't be my last. I was tempted to snap my eyes open when I felt Isabella run her tongue between the slight parting of my lips. She applied greater pressure, and I widened the gap, feeling her tongue graze mine. My arousal was desperate to surface, but I warned my erection away in fear of causing her discomfort.

I groaned lowly whilst her hands tugged through my hair and her tongue stroked the roof of my mouth. I took upon myself to bite into her bottom lip, interested in seeing why she found it so tempting. I rolled it slowly between my teeth, Isabella's eyes open and fixated on mine. I released it slowly, placing a kiss on her swollen lips, and then another on the corner of her mouth.

"Thank you," I smiled slightly. My hands still moving along her waist.

Isabella looked partially stunned, her cheeks darkening in colour. Her brown eyes were indeed lustful, whether or not she was aware of this.

"Fuck," She muttered, halting the movement of my hands, eyes directed downwards. I followed her gaze and was greeted with the sight of the erection I could already painfully feel. It seemed my attempts at keeping my arousal at bay were unsuccessful.

"Just ignore it, I'm trying to,"

"I can't," She whispered coyly.

What was that supposed to mean?

My eyes widened as her hand travelled south.

"No Isabella don't,"

She sent me a questioning look, hand at the top of my jeans.

"This _is_ what I want, but you're right, it's not what I need,"

She nodded her head, eyes still trained on my arousal. Perhaps we were as bad as each other.

"You're right" She echoed my earlier words, hand still unmoving.

"This cannot happen again," She concluded eyes finally meeting mine, hand away from my crotch and running through her hair. She didn't look as though she believed her words.

"Goodnight Isabella,"

The corners of her mouth twitching up "Goodnight Edward, try to get some rest,"

I was left with the acceptance of a cold shower and only myself to blame.

* * *

_More of Edward's family situation will be involved in the next chapter, this was more sort of a filler to emphasise how close Isabella is to caving. If you could review that would be cool..._


	10. Everybody's Sorry

_A slightly quicker update this time, I'm trying to conquer the length between my updates. My new mantra now is: Reliability is key. However I'm not all that familiar with being reliable, such is life._

* * *

_Edward's Point Of View_

The canvas in front of me bore nothing. It was a pale vastness of emptiness. The time had arisen once again and my father would be aging another year. Forty-nine years of existence, and he had a lot to show for it. His dismal son not included. I held the moistened paintbrush in my hand. What to paint? Or more rather, how to? I angrily dabbed the paintbrush into the pool of black and smeared its contents roughly against the white background, ruining its purity. Another failed attempt at curing this dry spell. Every year I ached to paint something new for him, to show him that he had reason to pride me. But alas, I faltered when it came to things that didn't involve a naked woman writhing beneath me. I scratched the stubble growing on my chin and turned to some of my earlier works. These had been painted years prior, probably seen by my father, but each year as I gifted him with one, he nodded graciously, face expressionless. He wasn't a man of much emotion when it came to my work, or when it came to me in general, and that bothered me. I opted for the portrait of a forest, the green leaves revelling in the sun, tainted as their tips turned black. Yes. Black with my spite.

I locked the door as I exited the room, leaning the gift against the corridor wall. No family member had ventured into this place. The only person asides from myself being Isabella.

Isabella and I had both kept to our sides of the agreement. There were no more 'inappropriate' encounters. Seeing as only three days had passed since the now unmentionable 'incident' and our meetings had been brief brushing in the hallway, it wasn't really an accomplishment to pride ourselves on.

I'd managed to get some time off for my father's birthday. I'd wanted to be declined. My employer already knew about my inability to work Wednesday afternoons as that conflicted with my sessions with Isabella. She was a kind middle-aged woman, never pried as to what I needed to see 'that kind of doctor' about. The other employees were bearable enough, minus a female named Jessica who seemed perhaps a year or two younger than me. There was something about the way she looked at me. Eyes glazed, posture overly eager. I'd only been working there for a few days and already I felt as though she was going to become a problem. Not in the sense that I wanted to fuck her, no, quite the opposite, I was going to have to tell her, brutally at that, that I did not share her interests.

For my interests now lay with Isabella, the woman who still seemed determined to deny our obvious chemistry. Not that chemistry had anything to do with what Isabella and I shared. Again came the question. What exactly was that?

XXXX

The clock read five forty-five. Rosalie had called asking me to arrive at six, enabling me some time with our parents before the guests arrived. I had lied however, telling her that my shift didn't end until five, and I was going to need time to go home and change. She seemed satisfied with this, telling me that the latest I could arrive was seven thirty, as any later would be seen as rude. That wouldn't be a problem as my parents only lived a couple miles south, along the outskirts of town. To any outsider it would seem strange that I didn't visit more often. But there was a silent understanding between both my father and I that until I gave him something to be proud of, my presence wasn't all that welcome. Or at least that was how I understood it. Like I said, I was black with spite.

XXXX

"You're here," Rosalie sighed, a silent relief evident on her face. She peeked at her silver watch.

"It would seem so,"

"You're late,"

"Am I?"

"It's seven forty-two, that's twelve minutes over the assigned time,"

"Who are you my mother?"

"Our parents are waiting on your arrival,"

"I'm here aren't I?"

She ushered me down the hallway, the sound of classical music heightening.

"How are things with...?" She seemed unsure of how to phrase her question.

"Please do continue," I drawled

"Your situation,"

I barked out a dry laugh, entering the main room. I ignored her question.

What was I to say?

I felt a sense of déjà vu upon seeing the sight in front of me. Each year my father's birthday set up did not differ. The same guests attended and gifts were placed upon the large rectangular table centred in the middle of the room. A bar was set up and everybody was scattered, huddled in little groups, entertaining themselves with dire conversations about sport and the latest happenings at work.

Usually I participated in flirtations with attractive females, who bashfully returned my smiles with coy ones of their own. Some even offering to satisfy me in one of the many guest rooms upstairs. Tonight however, that would not be occurring.

I felt a soft hand grip my shoulder gingerly and turned to be greeted by the smiling face of my mother. Her copper hair was shorter than I remembered, eyes still as green as my own. I had the facial features of my father, the colours inherited from my mother however.

"Edward, my beautiful boy," Her smiled shone bright, but her eyes look sad. She wrapped her arms around me tightly; they felt frail, thinner than last year. I squeezed back, for I only saw her once per year. This was of course a choice of my own.

"I'd hardly call him a boy Esme," My father's voice causing me to stiffen slightly.

I pulled out of my mother's embrace to face him. His stance made him taller than me, his blue eyes giving me a once over. He held his hand out towards me and I shook it firmly. A real man had a strong hand shake; I'd recall him telling me when I was a child.

"You look well son,"

"He's a handsome man just like his father," mother appraised. Carlisle nodded. I felt myself shifting uncomfortably under his deity stare.

"Jasper's here, he's been waiting for your arrival,"

My eyes trailed the room, stopping once they laid themselves upon a mop of curly blonde hair.

"Go and greet him," It was an imperative and my mother's smile dropped as I turned away.

"Jasper," I called once he was within earshot.

His eyes found mine and his face broke out into a large grin. He pulled me in for a quick hug.

"You must be an angel of the Lord," He chuckled

"What are you talking about?"

"This whole deal with Alice," I had forgotten about that, my mind drowning in the fear of this upcoming event.

"Oh right, it was just luck I guess,"

"Well then the Gods must be on your side,"

I snorted at his comment and he chuckled alongside me.

XXXX

My mother cried upon hearing of Rosalie's pregnancy. An hour into the evening and the couple thought it would be appropriate to inform my parents of their situation. I observed my father's face as the words nervously tumbled from Rosalie's lips. His stoic expression broke and his face was graced with a genuine smile. One that hadn't been directed towards me in what had easily been ten years.

I ended up finding solace in the quiet of the garden. I sighed resting my head against the cold metal bars of the steps. I hadn't noticed my father behind until he cleared his throat to make his presence known. I grew antsy as he took a seat beside me.

"Aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday Edward?"

"I'm sure you've heard it countless times this evening,"

"Yes, but not from my son,"

I remained silent, face pressing harder against the bars.

"Look at me Edward,"

I didn't oblige with his order.

"Look at me and wish me a happy birthday," His tone was sharp.

"You can't tell me what to do,"

"Edward," His hand gripped my upper arm.

I lifted my head, eyes meeting his. His expression was pained, uncomfortable.

"What happened to my son?"

"He grew up,"

"Oh so that's what this is?"

I chuckled dryly; I was in a real foul mood.

"Thank you for the painting, as always they are appreciated,"

"Are they?"

"Yes Edward, I have never denied your talent,"

"You don't respect it,"

"That is where you're wrong son,"

I watched as he pondered on whether or not to delve further with his musings. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I do not respect you,"

The statement cut the thick air and he rose from the step, his hand patting my shoulder before returning to his guests.

XXXX

Once at home, whiskey in hand, I cried. Cried for what had to be the first time in years. I wanted nothing more than to find a woman and abuse her body for my own sick needs. I wanted Isabella's warm touch my father's love. I wanted to be intoxicated beyond comprehension.

I was angry, hurt, and upset. Real men didn't cry, my father had always said. Real men. Fuck real men.

I needed something, anything to drown out the silence.

I turned on my television, volume at its maximum and listened to the staged laughter that coursed through the room at a deafening height.

Roughly three minutes passed before there was a loud knock at my door. With a heavy sigh I muted the television answered it, third whiskey being sipped.

Isabella stood in the hallway, long sleeved pyjama combo in tow. Obviously I had awoken her.

She opened her mouth to speak before really looking at me.

"Edward, have you been crying?"

I shrugged, licking the remainder of whiskey off my lips.

"Is everything okay?"

Again I shrugged.

"Well, do you want to talk about it?"

She placed both of her hands on my shoulders to stop the oncoming shrug.

"Can I come in?" Her tone was softer, she wanted my permission.

I nodded.

I returned to my position on the sofa, Isabella following.

"What's happened?"

"My father," I informed her, more whiskey entering the glass.

"What about him?"

"Today is his birthday,"

She still didn't quite seem to understand.

"I attended the gathering he was hosting. I do so every year, it's the only time I see my parents,"

"That still doesn't explain why you are upset,"

"Usually everything goes well, it has its formation. This year however my father defied that formation,"

"What exactly did he do?"

"He said some things,"

"It must have been pretty bad if it made you cry," She was sitting close to me, her hand in a comforting manner on my knee.

"Stop that,"

"I'm sorry I don't understand,"

I pushed her hand away from my dress pant covered knee.

"Edward I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine,"

"So are you going to tell me what it was that he said?"

"Wednesday, I'll tell you on Wednesday,"

Isabella seemed to like this negotiation, nodding thoughtfully.

I reached to pour myself more whiskey, but Isabella stopped me.

"You don't need anymore,"

"Shut your mouth," I snapped

She seemed to take offence at this.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I don't _need_ anyone telling me what to do,"

"Edward, I was only trying to help,"

"Can't you see? I'm a lost cause,"

"Maybe, but even the lost can be found,"

"I don't want to be found,"

"Edward-"

"I want you Isabella,"

"I know you do," She sighed, as I cradled my head in my hands.

"Just leave," I instructed, if she stayed any longer, I wouldn't be held accountable for my actions.

"If that's what you want,"

"It is, please just go,"

She leaned forward slightly, placing a gentle kiss to my temple.

"I'm sorry Edward," Her whisper tickling my ear and neck as she returned to her apartment.

* * *

_Congratulations, you've survived yet another chapter. Pat yourselves on the back, or don't. Reviewing is apparently a good way to cleanse your soul, so you could give that a try. _


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